I once conducted a
study aiming to understand the inter-generational dynamics of middle aged
caregivers and their young adult or teenage children. We had some unanticipated
difficulties in getting the caregivers (parents) to agree to introduce their
children for the interviews. The caregivers told us that their children were
too busy at work or in school to be involved with the care giving process.
Fortunately, we were
able to speak with some young adults or teenagers who provided us with valuable
insights on their perspective on informal caregiving. As expected, many of them
living in a three-generation household saw themselves providing very little
help to their parents (usually mothers); the primary caregivers for their
grandparents at home. However, that didn't mean that the children were
oblivious to what was happening at home. Many were well aware of the tensions
that their parents were facing, including money matters and the shared
responsibilities between the caregiver and their siblings. They could also
sense that their parents were affected by the stress when caregiving became
difficult. Despite knowing and understanding the challenges related to
caregiving, most of them said without hesitation that they would have no
problem caring for their parents in the future because they have seen their own
parents care and love for their grandparents.
When one generation loves, the next generation
learns.
Instead of keeping
the children at bay due to the reason that they are busy individuals, the study
suggests that caregivers should voice out right from the beginning that
caregiving is a duty that concerns the whole family. Having family conferences
involving the children, sharing with them their concerns and issues that causes
them stress, involving them in learning more about caring for the frail
elderly, such as browsing for information on the internet together and going
for caregiving workshops together. Parents who have gone through the process of
garnering support from children found themselves emerging stronger as a family.
Dr. Thang Leng Leng
Associate
Professor
National University
of Singapore (NUS)
(Writer is a member
of iCare Life Advisory Board)
0 comments:
Post a Comment